#39

Vol.7 No.1

InterDview took place at Bizzarro's Famous New York Pizza, 5th Avenue Indialantic, Florida on 17 June  1995 between the evening hours of 6:00 and 7:20 approximately. Weather conditions: Windy, warm, water choppy.

Blab: Where are you from, Don?

Don: I was born in Melbourne. I was born in the Colonial Motel when it was a hospital. 

Blab: Is it still there?

Don: Yup, on Route 1, just south of Jim Rathman Cadillac.

I grew up in West Melbourne, in the woods. It was fun. The highlight of the day was catching minnows, laying in the blackberry beds and eating blackberries.

Blab: Huh.

Don: Yup, it was cool.

Blab: Sounds nice.

Don: We had a house in the middle of the Sticks. It was fun. Then I grew up and learned about life. And that was fun. So, it continues to be fun. I just let it roll. That's all I can do.

Blab: Did you have farm animals?

Don: No, no farm animal...we had chickens. That was it for our farm animals.

Blab: Did you eat the eggs?

Don: We ate a lot of eggs and in the end you eat the chicken!

<Both laugh>

We ate eggs for a long time.

Blab: What did your mom and dad do?

Don: My dad was a cabinetmaker. And mom, she worked wherever she could. We were basically poor. But we ate dinner every night.

I have no regrets about my childhood.

Blab: Oh! That's cool.

Don: Man, last week I drank four double Grand Marniers and tried to bicycle home. I wrecked. Fortunately I landed on someone's grass, but I fell on top of someone's sprinkler head...

Blab: Oh!

Don: ...and bruised a rib. Man, it sucks. But, time is all it takes.

Blab: That's true.

Don: Physical pain sucks.

Once you know you know you don't fear death, when it comes you're ready.

Blab: Siblings?

Don: I have one brother and two sisters. Wow. One sister lives in West Melbourne, one lives with her fireman husband in Palm Bay. My brother lives in Holopaw How he lives in Holopaw I'll never know. There ain't a fuckin' thing in Holopaw. If you get hungry you gotta drive 30 miles in either direction for food. Downtown is a blinking red light. Fuckin' a!

Blab: You ever go visit him?

Don: I'm on the ocean front.

Blab: When the ocean comes a little closer to Holopaw you'll visit him?

Don: Maybe so.

I try to do major holidays... I would like to see my dad for Father's Day, but until I get a car, fuck! I don't really bicycle more than three miles in either direction. My life runs north and south in conjunction with A1A. So that's what it is.

Blab: Where does dad live?

Don: Dad lives in Holopaw. Fuckin' a. You're on your own.

Blab: That is a hike.

Were you the oldest?

Don: Wow. I was the oldest child of four, four children. I always enjoyed my, my...

My next youngest sister and I went to school together. We were close. We used to catch minnows together, play with pine cones.

Oh wow, we used to braid pine needles together, stick minnows through the eyeballs, and leave them for the mailman.

<Both laugh>

Blab: Did he take them?

Don: Fuckin' a.

Blab: Did you catch any mailmen that way?

Don: He overlooked them. He overlooked them.

Blab: Slight cruel streak?

Don: Wow, exactly.

Blab: Were your parents and grandparents from Florida?

Don: My Grandparents were from Connecticut, and my Mom was from Connecticut. My dad was pure Floridian, in fact, he was a life guard in Ormond Beach. He's from Ormond Beach. His dad was Floridian, his mom was Floridian. My entire dad's side was Floridian. I guess that's where I get it. Um. I don't think I'd move away.  Yeah I would, I'd move to Paradise.

Blab: Any Indian blood?

Don: German, French, Italian, Scottish, I'm Heinz 57.

Blab: Tell me Don, how old do you feel?

 Don: How old do I feel? Wow, that's a good question. Age wise, how old do I feel? I don't feel any age. Because I simply exist. I'm timeless. Wow. Earth years... Earth years, what a concept. If I had to say how old I felt in earth years, I would say... Thirteen. Before Realization... Wow. Maybe that's why I come on to young women. My heart is as open as the sky. I let it all come and go, and don't ask questions and don't make demands. I simply let it come and go. I let it all flow through me. That's why I've been able to deal with a lot of these major adversities as good as I have. When you know you know nothing really matters, this existence is everything, man. And it will get better. Eternally optimistic.

Blab: What are some of the adversities?

Don: Now you incorporate man, the being. The adversity is money, automobiles. Mankind will be his own demise. He's fuckin' up this planet so royally that it's not going to be able to repair itself. When all traces of man are gone, the planet can start over. There is no creator. There is no light. Fuckin' a. I just realized that you are going to stumble in confusion and sorrow forever. Fuckin'... just... I'm sorry for going off.

Blab: It's an emotional issue. It's hard to just sit back and enjoy the show while people destroy the planet.

Don: Yeah, yeah, really it is.

Blab: You said you were married once?

 Don: My wife... didn't suck, so I got a divorce.

Blab: How did you meet her?

Don: I lived across the street from her in a tiny town. And it happened because I used to help her dad deliver papers. And there's nothing better to do with a papergirl at 4:00 AM than fuck. So I ended up fuckin'her in her bed while mom n' dad were sleeping. Fuckin'a.

Blab: How old were you?

Don: I was of age. She was not. It was cool.

Blab:  Where was this?

Don: Way south in a place called Micco.

Blab: Micco?  I'd always heard it pronounced Meeko.

Don: Like Micco Mouse.

Blab: That's an interesting name.

Don: After the Miccosukee Indians[i].

Blab: Ooooh.

Don: There was a lot of Indians around here. It's too bad they got fucked out of their country, out of their land.

Blab: Did that (relationship) last long?

Don: Well it lasted until... I dated her four or five years, proposed to her, married for three. But, things come and go. People change. The world is in constant flux. I accept everything that comes my way. I try not to...hell...I simply try and exist as peacefully and harmonically as I can. Case closed, and that's it. Accept good if it comes, accept bad if it comes, deal with it, and move on, and forget about it. And that's all you can do.

Blab: Sounds very Eastern.

Don: Yeah, it's quite Zen. Yeah, I hold Mother Nature in the highest, because God is everywhere. I'm good to people who are good to me, and I'm good to people who are not good to me. Just because I know that people are people. And, some suck, and ... most people want to be good people. It's the ones who really suck who make it hard for the good people.

I've been married. My wife had an affair. We're divorced now. I have no girlfriend. I do the free spirit thing, man. It's just me. If more people could realize why they're here, if more people rolled in the sand every day, there would be a lot less discontentment and sorrow. But people are people.

Blab: You can't change them. I guess they have to change themselves.

Don: Your happiness is an inside job. Paradise exists between your ears.

Blab: John Lennon said your temple is within you[ii].

Don: God dwells within your heart.

And, Man, Organized religion goes off the deep end. They go way too far.

I don't know what to think of the Jesus Christ dude. Wow. I have no views concerning Jesus Christ.

Blab: Do you think the more organized the religion, the further off the path, the further from the truth?

Don: The closer to George Washington they are.

Organized religion is good for the masses, because the masses don't have a path. Most people need to be told what to do. And that's fine with me. Fuckin' a. Just sit down and behave.

Blab: Keeps them out of your hair, right?

Don: Fuck.

Blab: Tell me about that wild looking tattoo you have on your leg there, Don.

Don: That's a 1911 cartoon cat. Tim Schubert did it. The cat is clutching his gut because he is sick of it all. I, too, am sick of it all.

 <Laughter>

Don: Fuckin' a.

Since my accident I feel I'm gettin' fucked out of my life, but I'm not really, because I've been given Life. I approach it on a real grassroots level. I know things that most people don't. I'm friends with all the sea gulls on the ocean front.

Blab: All right!

Don: Yeah, they dig me.

I know the majority of the little school girls... I know everybody.

Blab: That's great. You know the kids names?

Don: A lot of them. I know an incredible amount of people. From the Lazy Bean[iii], the ocean front, and just people I meet. I know an awful lot of people.

Blab: You give the sea gulls names?

Don: John. They're all named John.

<Both laugh>

They're all named John.

Blab: Tell me where you found this classic cartoon character for the tattoo.

Don: I'm not sure. It's something Tim presented to me.

Blab: Oh, O.K.

Don: He said, "You need this tattoo." And I said, "I fully agree."

Blab: The accident you mentioned, was that the more recent automobile accident?

Don: Well, no. In 1987, I was critically injured in an auto accident. [An errant driver signaled right and turned left in front of Don, who was riding a motorcycle.]

I received a shattered femur, three broken ribs, a punctured lung and a brain hemorrhage.

Blab: Oh, man.

Don: Yeah, it fucked me up. I was in a coma for six weeks.

Blab: Holy shit.

Don: Yeah, doctor said I would not walk, but um, I'm lucky to be alive. Everybody is lucky to be alive. Some of us realize it more than others.

Blab: <Laughs> So true. Now, weren't you hit by a car on another occasion?

Don: Four years after my wreck, I was crossing Babcock Street. I heard squealing rubber, and I waited to hear the bang, and a car hit me from behind. I was on my bicycle.

Blab: Oh, man.

Don: Yup. My arms went up, came off the handle bars, I went through the windshield, she kept the brakes on. I slid back out the windshield, down the hood and onto Babcock Street.

Blab: Holy Shhhhit!

Don: I got a broken ankle and I lost about six pints of blood.

Blab: Wow! Did relatives have to donate?

Don: No, no. They just took a hunk of skin off my leg and put it on my arm.

Blab: That's amazing.

Don: I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I would wish that on all my friends.

<Both laugh>

All I can do is remain optimistic, man. And fuck, there's always hope. And every day is better than the last.

In fact, when I was out of it, I was given Divine Knowledge. I've seen the lower realms of heaven. And it's so exquisitely beautiful, that it can't be put into words.

Blab: Wow.

Don: There are no shadows, and we bathe in light. It's really incredibly beautiful.

Blab: Have you written any poems about that experience?

Don: Let me think about the light. About the light, yes. I've written Forever Yours. O.K., I'll recite Forever Yours, for you.

Blab: Great.

Don: O.K. And the fact that you publish this will be the first time my poetry is ever published.

Blab: Oooow.

Don: Pure energy, stardust and the light of  today

The sheer force of love, God wants it this way

Flowers, rainbows and the fresh morning dew

These are the things that remind me of you

Your breath is like the gentle breeze

A subtle reminder of your love

In your heart you hold the keys

You are a precious mourning dove

With warmth and affection that gives me

 direction

You truly are a gift from above

I sing of praise in all my days

For your unconditional love

Hand in hand and heart to heart

Together, we will never part

Forever yours, forever mine

Forever you and I will shine.

And that's all there is, that's God.

Blab: Wow.

Don: And that's a forever thing. And God wants us to know how incredibly beautiful we are, and just realize God's love. Everybody needs to realize God's love. So many people are lost in their own little world of hate and despair and treachery, and fuckin' rahhhh!

But I'm having fun.

Blab: That's what counts.

Don: And now that I live on the ocean side, I'm overcome with scantily clad women.

<Both laugh>

Blab: That's why I avoid the place!

<Both laugh>

Blab: Have you met any interesting scantily clad women here?

Don: They're everywhere. They are everywhere.

The titty dancers are really friendly.

<Both laugh>

What I really enjoy is... I enjoy mostly the friendship of the girls who are in school because they are off limits, and I give them shells, and we share a really unconditional love. They like me for just who I am. And I like them for just being. So it's cool.

Blab: Alright! That is nice. You're talking about the public school aged girls?

Don: Right. I don't know about those Catholic girls.

<Both laugh>

Blab: You know what Billy Joel says about them?

Don: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Blab: How about the college women?

Don: There haven't been too many down yet. College is in session.

pause

Blab: Do people ever call the cops on you?

Don: Oh, fuckin' a. Let me run down the list of places I'm not allowed to go. I'm not allowed in the Ocean View Dinner right there, I'm not allowed in J.D.Penguins on Aurora Road, I'm not allowed in Melbourne Square (Mall). Uh, fuck, I'm not allowed in a bunch of places, but that's because people are people. I don't worry about it. I just don't go there. They don't start any shit, there won't be any. So, I avoid them. No, I don't avoid them, they're not in the path.

I really love the ocean front. I would like to avoid the planet Earth, but my being has been stuck here. And, it'll get better, it'll get better. I know it will.

Blab: Do you have a plan?

Don: Set no goals, make no plans, have no fear. No fear is where it's at.

Blab: Like the slogan on the bumper stickers?

Don: No, it's not that commercialized. It's a deep-rooted, heartfelt lack of fear. All you have to do is touch God one time and that is the root, the basis for your lack of fear.

I have no idea. I'm lost now.

Blab: So have they dragged you down to the pokey?

Don: Oh, wow. The first time...Oh, wow. The first time I ever got arrested it was for disorderly conduct. There was this city that was not eliminating the American flag at night. And after noticing this for three or four months, it pissed me off. I stormtrooped their police department at 5:00 AM, started demanding the presence of the mayor and, um, I know, it didn't go over big. They said, "Well Mr. Gunn, he's probably asleep." I beat on their safety glass and "Wake his ass up!" Um, they arrested me, and took me to Sharps[iv]. When they searched me at Sharps they found some cannabis, and that's a federal charge: Introduction of contraband to a detention center.

<Both laugh>

Blab: Even though they brought you there.

Don: Fuck yeah!

Blab: Should have left it in the police car.

Don: I thought I'd turn it in at the jail, but no, that's a mistake. No one should smoke marijuana. Fuckin' a! It's illegal, they tell us it's bad for us. Fuckin' a.

Don: Wow. But, but, butt... [the man is thoroughly distracted by a comely young woman in a bikini]

Blab: I missed that butt.

Don: Yes, it's one you want to see...

Blab: So that was the first time you were arrested.

Don: I was wrong; I was dead wrong.

Blab: Were you drunk?

Don: No, but, that night I had eaten too much LSD. And damnit I was proud to be an American!

<Laughs>

My eyes were not dilated, and they were wrong. Fuckin'a, I went off. I did it because it was something I knew no one else would do.

Blab: Did you get a write-up in the paper?

Don: Fuck, yeah. Arrested, Don Gunn dadadada dadadada.

Blab: Did they at least state your cause?

Don: Fuck no. I made the Crime Watch Section.

Blab: Florida Today?

Don: Yeah, that sucks. That's about all the media coverage I would get.

Blab: Did they let you out on your own recognizance?

Don: Yeah, they did me in. In fact I spent six and a half weeks in Sharps. I was fully accepting the fact that I was going to perish there. I wouldn't do it again. I wouldn't do it again. I would not do it again. Avoid jail at all costs. Fuckin'a.

Blab: I bet that was an eye-opening experience.

Don: There's the butt...

<Both gander at voluptuous surfer gal in bikini.>

Blab: Hey, you know it's illegal to get an erection on the beach.

Don: I KNOW. I KNOW, I can't believe that!

Blab: I was thinking about turning myself in earlier. But now I know, it's not such a good idea.

Don: Yup.

Blab: Did you meet anyone interesting while you were in the can?

Don: Oh, wow. They moved this guy, this black guy into my cell. He smelled like... putrid, the rotting remains of something or other, but he smelled really bad. I told the corrections officer that it was O.K.

 <Both laugh>

Man, they moved him out. They moved him out and let me sleep by myself.

Wow, wow. Because I was in the accident, when they put me in jail, they put me in this cell, in the pod, where everyone wears      red. They're the psychotic twisted fuckers and the moans start early in the A.M. hours. Uhhhhhhngh. At about 3:00 AM I got underneath the door and was doing my own moans.

Jail was fun. Avoid jail.

Blab: How was the food?

Don: Really industrial.

<Both laugh>

It's like industrial strength food. On a good day you get some Little Debbies.

Blab: If you behave yourself?

Don: Absolutely. There's bigger fuckers than me. And then there are weird fuckers in jail. You meet the most twisted, weirdest fuckers you can imagine. In fact, one guy shaved off his eyebrows. Fuckin' looked weird.

Blab: They gave him a razor blade?

Don: Yeah, they gave us razor blades early at night to shave with.

Blab: Do they watch you do that?

Don: No. They don't. In fact they just distributed them and let you go to your private cubicle. Later they picked them up.

Blab: Do you think they hope you off yourself in there?

Don: I don't know.

Blab: Get rid of you?

Don: I've considered suicide since my accident. But, this life is beautiful. Suicide is just a waste, just a waste. I'm only here 'till, I figure, I figure I'm good for 60 or 70 years. So, whatever I can pull off in 60 or 70 years. That's cool, and man, if I can't pull it off, that's cool, too. Acceptance is the key.

Blab: Do you believe in reincarnation?

Don: Like over and over and over?

Blab: Or even once.

Don: Your spirit and personality survives death. This existence is a continual battery of tests. You will get it right, eventually.

Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes over and over.

Blab: Do you think people become animals and vice versa?

Don: I can't say yes or no because I've been existing on a spirit plane for a long fuckin' time, so, um...  I've even been attacked by dogs that can see the light.

Blab: Really?

Don: Yes. Most dogs are friendly, but some are scared. The same with people. Some people take one look at me and say "No, no, no. Back, back." they do not know why they are repulsed. They don't know what they see. Um, I can't... Most people, when they see something different, they don't know what to think of the what they see, and immediately they are repulsed. Some are turned on. Most are not. But it's not my fault. All I can say is, I am. I am. I am.

Blab: What do you place your faith in?

Don: I place my faith in God. That's it. That's where all my faith is. God knows.

Blab: Can't trust people, right?

Don: No, because they're just people, just people, only a person. But, some of them try. A lot of them fail. Most fail.

Blab: I heard a prayer once, "Please, Lord, deliver me from your followers."

Don: Exactly. That's cool. I like that.

I stated I try to exist as peacefully and harmonically as I can. The Tao is luminous inside me. If you've never read any Lao Tzu, You need to. You need to.

Blab: I've read some.

Don: The Tao Te Ching is the classic manual on the art of living.

Blab: Did your folks force you to go to church?

Don: No, but I used to come over every weekend and stay with my grandmother. She used to take us to, wow, Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church. That was a scary fuckin' existence. Man, that was fuckin' weird.

Blab: What the Stations of the Cross[v] and the Eucharist[vi]?

Don: Just the entire Catholic religion.

<Both laugh>

Blab: Do you consider yourself nonsectarian?

Don: As far as religion goes... Um... Religion, what a concept. I prefer to think of God as one light. I don't know about Jesus Christ. The Far East had some interesting views. I enjoy Krishna consciousness. The religions of different cultures all point to God. One God. And that's all there is. I experienced God through the accident I had. There was no savior. There was me and God. That's it.

Blab: So, you have no need for a savior.

Don: That's it, exactly.

Blab: Cut out the middle man.

Don: Really. Save money.

<Both laugh>

Do you read anymore?

I haven't read in a long time. I should attempt to improve my brain. At least rehash what I know. Everything is nothing but what you believe. Knowledge is king. Knowledge for the sake of knowledge is wonderful. I know everything. So I don't need it. <Laughs>

Blab: John Giorno said, "When I was 15 years old I knew everything there was to know, and now that I'm old, it was true."[vii]

Don: Exactly.

Blab: What would you read if you were to pick up a book now?

Don: I've never read any H.P.Lovecraft.

Blab: People are continually recommending his works to me.

Don: Yes, yes.

Blab: I never read any.

Don: Because you know you know, and that's all there is to it.

Blab: That's right.

What's one of your favorite books?

Don: One of my favorites would have to be, Tertium Organum by Ouspensky[viii], a Russian philosopher. The name of his book was Tertium Organum: A Key to the Enigmas of the World[ix]. It examined the fourth dimension, the timespace relationship.

It was so far out there it blew me away.

Blab: Huh.

Don: In fact, Ouspensky was a student of Gurdjieff[x].

Blab: I thought that name sounded familiar. And Gurdjieff was a Sufi[xi]?

Don: Yes.

Blab: How did you find that book?

Don: I found it in a bookstore. I was so amazed by the subtitle "Key to Enigmas of the World," that I had to pick it up and buy it.

Blab: Huh.

Don: Anything that is a key to any enigma that's wonderfully amazing.

Blab: Definitely.

Don: I enjoy all facets of philosophy because I enjoy what thinking men think about their existence: Jean Paul Sartre, Friedrich Nietzsche... Nietzsche, he wrote outwardly from the male counterpoint [sic] for sure. It's male related.

Blab: Oh yeah. It's male biased.

Don: Yeah, exactly.

Blab: Are you familiar with Lost in the Cosmos: The Last Self-help book by Walker Percy[xii]?

Don: No. Have you heard of Crack in the Cosmic Egg?[xiii]

Blab: I haven't read it.

Don: By Joseph Chilton Pearce[xiv]. He is a philosopher, a philosophy teacher at Princeton. And that goes off. But, for eons man has tried to explain away his existence. And it can't be done. Man will ultimately be his own demise. He's fuckin' up the planet royally. That's O.K., I'll be here forever.

Blab: <Laughs> Spiritually?

Don: Spiritually I will be here forever.

Blab: Do you think everyone will be here forever?

Don: Those who are wont to know, yes, yes. For sure.

Blab: So, you'll get to meet Ouspensky.

Don: Yeah, that'll be cool. We'll rap, burn a fatty, and fuckin' go off.

Blab: What will you talk about?

Don: Wow, with Ouspensky I would like to discuss... that man blows me away so hard, I don't think I could even hold a conversation with him. I think the present existence would be the topic of domain.

Blab: Domain?

Don: It would be the topic of choice. Because of his views surrounding this existence, he had some really wonderful ideas and thoughts...

Blab: I'll have to look him up.

Don: You want to. You want to.

Blab: Sounds good, I've been looking for something substantial to read.

He sounds like a guru.

Don: Yeah, very much so.

Well his mentor was Gurdjieff, so, there you have it. If you've ever read any Gurdjieff, you know.

Blab: I've read about him.

Don: He knows, he knows.

Blab: Did you ever have a mentor?

Don: Whoa, the guy who turned me on to jazz, a guy named J.S.  He turned me on to jazz and music music as an art form. We used to go over to his house and listen...he had all these classic, classic jazz albums: Coltrane, Chick Corea, jazz fusion, rock alternative, blues, you name it, he turned me onto it. It was a really wonderful experience.

Blab: Was he a musician?

Don: No, he was not, he was just an excellent listener. His brother plays guitar. Just someone who knew music.

Blab: Is this someone you grew up with?

Don: I worked with him for a bunch of years. But now that I'm retired. Arrrr har har. I'm retired.

Blab: Retired at what age?

Don: I retired at 25.

<Laughs>

Work is a four letter word; Fuck work.

So that's all I can say about work, because I don't. But, if I could, I think I would change things around from the way they were. I had a really good job. I had my life planned out for the future. I would make a lot of money being an excellent machinist and just toil. But, soooo, I assume I've been given life. Now I take time to watch the roses bloom, I can take time to get lost in the sea shells or the butter[xv] that walks by and I do the same thing with people. I really enjoy the school girls, because most of them are really pure, and I can see right through 'em. And that's wonderful, that's really nice.

Blab: They haven't become cynical?

Don: That's right. Cynical, hateful, youthful. They just exist.

pause

Blab: Favorite fairy tale or children's story?

Don: Fairy tale or children's story. My, um, wow! I remember the hardcover edition of Mother Goose rhymes. You know, I think that's probably why my poetry rhymes, is because of Mother Goose. I like the nice meter and verse in the Mother Goose rhymes. So very little has rhymed nice in my life, so I like to, at least, make my poetry rhyme nice. And that's the way it goes.

Blab: Have you considered writing a book or putting your poems in a book?

Don: I have considered putting my poetry in a book.

pause

Blab: You mentioned earlier your wish for the future would be to have a house of your own.

Don: Yeah, yeah, that would be the groove.

In fact, a house way south of Melbourne Beach, about eight miles past the flashing light. Out there. Far out there. Nothing.

Blab: Before the inlet (Sebastian)?

Don: Yes, just before the inlet. In fact, I'll never be able to own this, but I would like it to be on hallowed ground. The Ais[xvi] Indian grounds. Where the Indians used to roam, and hunt and fish and live. It's really, really special. Their spirit is reflected in the little twisted, exquisite oak trees that grow. There's fresh fruit in the woods. And there's all kinds of fruit trees: papaya, plum trees...little berries I've never seen before, but I've tasted them, and they're edible.  It's nice.

Blab: Is the land preserved?

Don: No. It's high dollar land. The area I want is some of God's last footprints on the East Coast of the U.S. It's really, really, wonderful.  Well, I'll never own, I'll just visit.  It's kind of like Disney World.

Blab: Natural scrub land?

Don: Yup, yup, exactly.

Blab: South of Floridana?

Don: South of Sunnyland, south of the street lights, right into the heart of God. It's beautiful.

Blab: I've driven on (route) A1A at night and looked up at the sky...

Don: Yup, the stars are spectacular. There're no street lights. It's wonderful.

pause

Blab: What's your view of the cosmos, do you think it's expanding?

Don: My view of the cosmos, the ever-expanding cosmos?  We'll never know.

Blab: That's a good point.

Don: Man will never know. This man will never know.

Wow. The universe is so incredibly large that many people can't even fathom the size of the universe, and they want to put a cap on it.

<Both laugh>

Blab: Isn't that true of everything?

Don: Yeah, no shit.

Blab: I'll bet you get a really good view of the stars out here (on the beach).

Don: Yes. It's even better further south. I have yet to get a star map and figure out what star is what by name.  I'm deficit.

Blab: Did you know Melbourne is a point of the Bermuda Triangle?

Don: Yes, I do. Yes, I do. That's why a lot of people who can't understand why they come [here] and get stuck. That explains it away.

Blab: Do you believe in extraterrestrials?

Don: You are not alone!  Of course. They're everywhere. This entire galaxy and solar system... Um, we are not the only planet that has the formation of the life force. There's life all over the universe. Some of it ahead of mankind, some of it behind. It's foolish for man to think that he is the one. Because we are not alone. And yes, they are watching.

Blab: From above?

Don: And below, all sides. They see right through you.

Blab: Have you ever spoken to any one or any life form that you believe is an extraterrestrial?

Don: Nooooo I have not.

Blab: If you had a message to relay to extraterrestrials, what would it be?

Don: Wow.  Don't come onto this plane. Because here in Melbourne people come but they don't leave.

 <Both laugh>

Blab: They're not exempt, right?

Don: Exactly. I would hate for extraterrestrials to get stuck in Melbourne. Although, it may be an excellent learning experience.

pause

Blab: If you could travel anywhere, where would you go to?

Don: I would like to check out the South Pacific. Because I've heard about it, I've read about it. Plus, I would like to live in Paradise, some paradise where I could--would have to be a U.S. territory--so I could still collect my social security, and live in paradise, and fuckin' grove!

<Laughs>

That would be cool. Even a cave. I'm easy.

Blab: What would you do if you won the lottery?

Don: I don't know, I never play.

Blab: Me neither. I dream about it, though.

Don: Ahhh, I know.

 I'd buy a killer spot, in where I thought was paradise, and invite all my friends and just blow it up and go off. There'd be fatty crypto-doobies for everyone.

Blab: Would you buy a machine shop and make sculptures?

Don: Fuck that. I'm a retired machinist. I stated earlier that work is a four letter word. Fuck Work. Not everyone is affordative [sic] of that luxury, of being able to say "Fuck work." I'm just lucky. Um.

So. That's basically the way it goes. Set no goals, make no plans, have no fear. Why fear, anything? Fear of the unknown? I know everything. Fuckin' a! It's no problem. So, I groove on this existence. No, in fact, I fuckin' groove. I wake up with the sun, experience the ocean, talk to my sea gull friends. I usually come to the board walk every day to talk to all the multitudes of people I know. I enjoy it, I enjoy it. Not everyone can afford it--the luxury of life.

Blab: Bob, of the Church of the Subgenius says: Don't just eat a hamburger, eat the hell out of it!

Don: Fuckin' a! J.R."Bob" Dobbs, one of my mentors. Yes. I owe a lot to Bob. I would like to publicly thank Bob for the slack he has afforded me. Too much, too soon, and way out of line. Slack is where it's at. Fuck work.

Blab: Have you ever read any books about people living in the South Pacific?

Don: Um, no. I have just read of the South Pacific. I would like an English speaking territory with beautiful women and pretty sea shells.

Blab: Sounds like Guam, to me.

Don: You think so?

Blab: Yeah.

Don: I need someone to point the way.

Blab: It's in Micronesia.

Don: Yes, exactly.

 I want to move into my own little niche. And it must be beautiful. It must be beautiful.

Blab: Did you ever see any of those movies about the South Pacific?

Don: Oh, wow. Yeah, I have. But they're all cornball commercialization, fuckin' bullshit. But, but too many people have said this is paradise. I would like to check out the economy, and... I don't want to have to learn any other language, so they would have to speak English. So if I could get a cave somewhere in the South Pacific, I'd be happy. I don't even need electricity.

Blab: A Nietzscheian paradise[xvii]?

Don: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Blab: Would you have any pets?

Don: Just whatever lizards are in the house.

I might have a cat. I would like to have a cat. I like cats.

Blab: Do you have any cat friends on the beach, here?

 Don: Cat friends?

Blab: You know, familiar fur balls?

Don: On Ocean Avenue there are a buncha cats. People occasionally bring their cats down, let 'em check out the sand.

Blab: Oh yeah? Wow, that's wild.

Don: Yeah, um...

Blab: Are the cats on a leash?

Don: [No.] They're unafraid. It's like a big litter box.

Blab: I bet you see wildlife that most people don't see.

Don: There are all kinds of insects that people don't know about, that they never see.

Blab: Like what?

Don: Especially beetles. There are all kinds of beetles. Everything from lady bugs to stag beetles. Everything in between.

Blab: Do you get flea bitten?

Don: No.

Blab: No?

Don: Wasp's have landed on me and stung me.

Blab: Really?

Don: I think it's the light.

Blab: Huh.

Don: Um. But I don't invite any insects, for any reason, because they are a lower life form. And they refuse to accept their existence. They suck; Stomp on bugs!

Blab: Are you saying man is the crown of creation?

Don: No, I'm saying I don't like roaches.

Blab: <Laughs>

Especially when you're trying to sleep?

Don: No shit.